I obviously have won Festivids! I didn't even know it was a competition but here I am and here is my vid and it is just fucking obvious to me that I just won this whole festival of vids!!!

Thank you so much - you've just made me something I can pass down to my grandchildren and hopefully their children's children. This? This is very beloved. AND YOU GOT IN THE BACKGROUND KEANU!!! AND IT IS TO HEART! AND YOU GOT A TRAINING MONTAGE AND REVENGE AND HOT SWEATY MANLOVE!!!!

Also, thank you so much for the jockstrap shot. It was the scandal of my seventh grade class and highly influential for me. Sniff.